Is There a Grinch in Your Life?
Many of us have one! Especially when holidays roll around, they seem to annoy us even more. Dealing with a negative person is hard work, especially when bells are jingling and carolers are singing on the radio and in every store we walk into. Our heads are filled with ear worms and all we need is that certain grinchy person who goes out of their way to gaslight us or to negate us for not doing enough or giving a gift that was not to their liking. Thank heavens for caller ID — we can fortify ourselves before calling them back. One woman tells me she used to drink a glass of wine before calling her mother–that is, before she learned a technique which I’ll share here with you.
When an elderly relative says, “I’m not going to be around much longer,” just repeat, “You feel you’re not going to be around much longer.” In other words, don’t take the bait. It takes too much energy to go against the grain. Repeat what the person is telling you. Agree with them no matter what they say. Of course, if a person is suicidal, that is whole different story. We are talking here about manipulative people who try to get our goat to call attention to themselves while taking stabs at us…people who are looking for a confrontation.
If you’re a person who loves Christmas and goes all out and you have a sister who calls to tell you, “I hate the holidays and all they represent.” Just repeat back, “You hate the holidays. ” When she repeats, “I’m not kidding, I really detest Christmas.” You reply, “You are not kidding, you really do detest Christmas.”
During the holidays, we tend to put others first but I’ve taught my patients that acupuncture tune ups and coaching is a way to put yourself on the front burner so you can get the things done on your list.
Alexis Rotella, M.Ac.
Jade Spring Health Center
410 384 9183