Saying NO

Saying no to someone can be hard. Many of us cram into our lives so many promises and activities that we barely have time to take a deep breath. One more donation to a political candidate, one more obligatory phone call to make, letting someone stay at your house when it’s inconvenient, making one too many lunches for people who don’t reciprocate, signing up for a course you’d like to take but simply don’t have the time, the list goes on.

I recently took on the big job of decluttering a large house–four dumpsters were filled to the brim. It felt good to unload stuff and to give things to consignment shops I’ll never use. But after the physical decluttering phase was done, I realized that my to do list was way too long.

So, I started off by saying no to a course on spirituality that would take up hours of my time every week for two years. People who expect us to be there for them “cord” us — we can actually feel the connection in our solar plexus. When we say no, it can seem like we’re pulling our guts out. But the more we practice saying no, the easier it gets. It especially gets easier when we say no to people who never say yes to us.

When we clean our plate of promises, we create more space for us to create what’s useful in our lives. All the excuses we hid behind aren’t there anymore. We have no choice but to take our lives in hand and do what we want, when we want. It’s a key to good health on all levels.